Not feeling it

Not feeling it
Photo courtesy of Time.com

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Charlie's Angel

My Application for the CIA
By Stephen Garland

            At my new job as a Secret Shopper I find myself making new back stories every time I go in.  I call from a different city and pretend to have lived their my entire life (or to have moved there, if the person spots my “accent”).  In essence, the entire conversation I have with the person I’m shopping is a lie.  Other secret shoppers at least by things or get a meal from the people or places their shopping.  In my case, I set up appointments that will later be cancelled by another member of the team (who does the scoring of the shop).
            Now, I’m not saying I’m a full blown secret agent.  Obviously an agent would do his or her own assessing and then follow through with whatever the operation at hand is.  However, I still feel like I’m pretty close.  I have a main objective with minor objectives I have to achieve along the way.  I get praise when I’m especially sneaky or get myself out of sticky situations in a relatively clean manner.  Also, I only speak with my boss over the phone.  I don’t even know what she looks like.  Farrah Fawcett, eat your heart out!
            This, along with my Russian language skills, should make me a prime candidate for the CIA.  Although, I suppose this blog might hinder my chances…All the same, if you never see me post again, wish me luck!

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