Star Wars' Slippery Slope

My Life as an Abolitionist

By: Stephen Garland

            Everyone who has seen Star Wars is aware that the films feature villains who do bad things.  One of those “bad things” is own slaves.  When we watch Jabba in his crime cave on Tatooine, we see that he has plenty of slaves along with underappreciated, subservient “employees.”  When we see this, it just adds to what we already know about Jabba: he is a bad person.  Sure, slavery is horrible.  We all accept this and see that Jabba is engaged in a horrible practice.  He gets his comeuppance, and we are allowed to be happy again.

            Something people seem to overlook is the slavery of the droids.  It’s a convoluted concept, but it centers around what makes a person “a person.”  Is it a beating heart?  If so, every domesticated animal would be a slave in some fashion.  No, it must have something to do with the mind.  We have no problem asking computers to do our bidding because we know a person programmed the computer to do just that.  It has no feelings with regards to our actions, although in great distress my computer has been known to get a little blue.

            Emotions, I believe, are what make someone (or something) a person.  Even psychopaths have emotions, they just don’t have a basis in any morality we seem to espouse as humans.  Droids have a moral code, even a sense of loyalty (though that seems to be tied to the concept of a master.  To what would a droid be loyal if it were truly free?).  Droids also have emotions.  R2-D2 has a genuine concern for Luke’s feelings toward him even though he claims to be the property of Obi Wan.  C-3P0 claims to have negative feelings toward R2 when the little droid won’t reveal the origin of his holographic message from Leia.  He also has a strong emotional reaction when he thinks the trash compactor killed Han, Leia, and Luke.

A boy and his machine, or a slave owner and his "employee?"

            If droids have thought patterns capable of independent emotions, how is it morally permissible to subjugate them?  Is it because they were built and programmed specifically for servitude?  If so, how is that different from a slave owner bedding his slaves in order to subjugate or sell her children?  Going back to the example of Jabba, when Leia excapes her bondage, everyone is thrilled, but the droids get picked up by magnets, almost as an afterthought.  Perhaps our heroes still have some learning to do as well.  Our current technological standing leaves us morally in the clear, but if we ever manage to create something that can truly experience life, definite moral questions should be raised.

Charlie's Angel

My Application for the CIA

By Stephen Garland

            At my new job as a Secret Shopper I find myself making new back stories every time I go in.  I call from a different city and pretend to have lived their my entire life (or to have moved there, if the person spots my “accent”).  In essence, the entire conversation I have with the person I’m shopping is a lie.  Other secret shoppers at least by things or get a meal from the people or places their shopping.  In my case, I set up appointments that will later be cancelled by another member of the team (who does the scoring of the shop).

            Now, I’m not saying I’m a full blown secret agent.  Obviously an agent would do his or her own assessing and then follow through with whatever the operation at hand is.  However, I still feel like I’m pretty close.  I have a main objective with minor objectives I have to achieve along the way.  I get praise when I’m especially sneaky or get myself out of sticky situations in a relatively clean manner.  Also, I only speak with my boss over the phone.  I don’t even know what she looks like.  Farrah Fawcett, eat your heart out!
            This, along with my Russian language skills, should make me a prime candidate for the CIA.  Although, I suppose this blog might hinder my chances…All the same, if you never see me post again, wish me luck!