I began cursing like a sailor in first grade. My friends and I would say the dirtiest words we knew on the play ground near a tree as far from adult supervision as a country grade school made possible. This also seems to be the first time I became a wordsmith. The excitement of saying words like “fuck,” “shit,” and “damn” wore off quickly. We eventually began combining these words in new and exciting ways. We would even combine them with words that were more “off-color,” than “curse words” per se.
Unfortunately, this activity was doomed to meet the glass ceiling of my six-year-old creativity. On the other hand, my persistence is one of my most admirable qualities. While I wasn’t spouting off phrases like “blood-queef” as a child, by college it was only part of my nearly infinite verbal arsenal. Because of my development in this art, I have always been a strong advocate for the idea that a dirty mouth cannot exist without a gloriously filthy mind. Thankfully, the society around me was nurturing such minds due to people like George Carlin and Jello Biafra.
Even Meredith Viera drops a curse from time to time when surprised by stories like a virtual driving demonstration on the dangers of texting while operating a motor vehicle. We can forgive such slips, however, due to the dirty mouths of our predecessors. Anyone who hasn’t heard his or her father or mother accost a bad driver or exclaim “shit” after realizing the trip to the landlord was wasted because the checkbook was still at home is either in Salt Lake City or the bastard child of the Dalai Lama. Either way, that child picked it up at school, which is populated by tiny seamen.
Nevertheless, as foul-mouthed children, we did learn that curse words aimed at a certain group of people are detestable while the others are just obscene. The only word in this category which seems to always ride the fence is “bitch.” Until homosexuality became more acceptable to the American people, this word was reserved primarily for women. While it may have only described a certain type of woman (power hungry, ruthless, tactless, or even manly depending on the context), it certainly didn’t seem to describe many men (the excepting being Charles Nelson Reilly). Perhaps this is because the original meaning of the word was “a female canine.” The word has always denoted a sex. It should also be noted that the word was specific to dogs in breeding, where the bitch is both the female and, naturally, the dog which is mounted.
Enter Clay Aiken
The first time I was overexposed to the word bitch was not while hanging out with my friend, Travis, who was obsessed with the Insane Clown Posse or when Meredith Brooks was popular. It was actually at my first gay house party. My friend, Caitlin, dragged me to a rundown duplex in the dingiest section of St. Louis ’ Central West End (also called the Central Rear End). Somehow, despite the deficit of females (one for every four dudes), the word bitch was being used more often than “the” or “a/an.” That night I not only learned I had the ability to be shy (sexual harassment is part of the gay courtship ritual), but also that “bitch” was changing.
While most racial groups took ownership of their slurs to remove the power those slurs once held, the best the gay community had was “queen.” Once again, this only referred to a very specific type of male who, as it now seems, doesn’t have to be gay at all. Being one of the most creative subcultures (i.e. calling hair gel “product,” the establishment of gay-friendly churches, and intercourse styles), the gay community decided to take ownership of a word that was being used to refer to strong women at the time. This was also during a time when homosexuality in a man was being confused with gender issues. These fabulous men took a word that symbolized their status in society and owned it just as strongly as might a Crip or “Little Person.”
Bitch Rainbow
This process not only empowered men (like the newly outed Ricky Martin), it also assisted in changing the meaning of a word. Where “bitch” once described a woman who knew what she wanted and would do anything (including the morally gray) to get it, it now rarely even means something bad. At this point in bitch’s history (not to be confused with the history of women), the word is so amorphous that it needs a helping word or suffix to take true form (much like a verb needs these syntactical tools to change tense).
When the word “bitch” is pluralized (i.e. “bitches”), it can take two forms: it can represent one’s group of friends in the phrase “my bitches,” or it can represent a nasty group of people (presumably females) in the phrase “these/those bitches.” As a verb, the infinitive “to bitch” generally means to complain, but “bitching” can be the act of complaining or a participle meaning awesome, as in a bitching surfboard.
The article used in a bitch-phrase is incredibly important. Just as the phrases “a house” and “the house” have different connotations for most English speakers, “some bitch” and “this bitch” mean two completely different entities. “Some bitch” generally represents a female that the speaker does not know personally. “This bitch,” however, is certainly known by the speaker, though the relative negative or positive connotation is reliant almost solely on the context of the phrase. For instance, if I’m telling a story about how one of my bitches managed to get free drinks the entire night, I might say “This bitch wore a shirt cut so low I could see insider her bellybutton without bending down.” Conversely, if a female wishes to confront another female while the first female’s friends are with her, she may say something like, “This bitch made out with Paul last night at my party like we hadn’t just broken up on Tuesday!”
Context is key in deciphering the possible negativity of bitch in our current society. Calling someone a “fucking bitch” leaves little room for interpretation. This person is obviously a mean and horrible person. A “little bitch” is obviously afraid to perform some task that would demonstrate masculinity or power (not that these words are synonymous). It should also be noted that in rare occasions, a “little bitch” can simply be a tiny person. A “huge bitch” is either a very mean person or a very large female. It could theoretically even represent a very large, cowardly male, but, once again, the context would require hyperspecificity to lead a listener to this conclusion. These examples lead to a definite conclusion: in order to give the word “bitch” a negative connotation, it now needs to be contextualized negatively. “Bitch” has transcended the obscene category, leaving it morally gray depending on the group of people and type of conversation.
Madonna
Some people (i.e. feminists) still abhor words like “bitch” and “cunt.” Their reasoning is sound and convincing. Men have used these words to tear down women who, in a man’s position, would be called a go-getter or ambitious. There isn’t a male counterpart to these words that has the potential to pack as hard of a punch. Even words like “asshole” cannot cause others to gasp as readily as the word “bitch” when uttered with enough hatred. Sure, calling a man a “faggot” can harm his reputation and psyche, but most women don’t see the need to tear down a specific group of men in the effort of verbally slapping one. Men, on the other hand, are bitches (i.e. people willing to overlook a certain set of morals to accomplish a personal goal). Many see no harm in using a word that could easily describe all women in a manner that shines one (and through this logic, all) of them in a negative light.
For these reasons, I believe it is time to stop hating the word “bitch,” not because hating the word only gives the word power (see Harry Potter), but because that energy could better utilized in finding a word that better represents the male equivalent. Words can fend for themselves. Bitch has managed to reinvent itself at a rate equivalent to rabbit mating. Will “bitch” ever fade out of the English language? It is possible, but generations of popular culture would have to be destroyed first. The possibility of word death, however, pales in comparison to the possibility of word birth. Let a retaliatory word [1]escape from our language’s womb.
In essence, the purpose for this essay is to offer a logical shield (i.e. a shield made of logic, not a shield that would logically be used). Those who use bitch correctly probably aren’t offending most reasonable people. A problem most often arises when someone uses the word indiscriminately. This type of person probably doesn’t know or can’t imagine the numerous possible uses and meanings of the word. For the purpose of this essay, these people will be referred to as “idiots.” Remember, the next time someone calls you a bitch, be sure to ask “Which kind?” If that person can’t come up with a coherent response, you are most likely dealing with an idiot. Act accordingly.
[1] I have some ideas, but this will require at least one sociologist and one woman with as dirty of a mouth as mine. And yes, I realize in a way I’m suggesting we all be bitches.
The basis of the meaning of this new word should probably focus around the word “weak.” Since society at some point deemed women being ambitious as a bad thing (I blame the 1950’s), this should just be accepted as that: a historical fact. Men who have been classified as weak have been torn down in history for centuries. Judas had weak morals, and sold out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. King George III had weak colonial influence and inspired a Revolutionary War. Benedict Arnold V had weak alliances and weak strategizing skills eventually dying of Gout.
Men fear these types of fates. All women have some sort of ambition because they are human beings. It is a natural part of our path to immortality. Immortality has a dark side, though. Living on as a failure is a fate worse than being forgotten to future generations at least for the majority of men in our society. You have your weapon, ladies. Now use it. Find a culturally relevant example of weakness, make it obscene, and create the anti-bitch.
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